5 Reasons Why Couples Are Having Unfulfilling Sex

Better Sex Tips

There’s any numbers of reasons why couples are having unfulfilling bedroom time.

There is the medical case of the women that suffer painful sex from vaginismus (vaginal tightness) or dyspareunia (uncomfortable intercourse due to medical or psychological causes).

But the main reason has to do with the waning of desire in time. As we’re all aware, our desire for our partners fades the longer we spend with them.

This has to do with a hormone called limerence. It makes us want to jump all over a new lover, but it only lasts between six and 24 months. And when limerence disappears, it’s gone for good and will only come back if we start dating someone new.

The arrival of babies, too, often puts an end to a couple’s lovemaking. It’s due to the sex hormone DHEA. When you have children, it depletes in the body, which is nature’s way of telling you to look after your kids and to stop shagging your husband.

Dr. Janet Hall, clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author of Sex-life Solutions: Easy Solutions for Everyday Sexual Problems, says there’s a real problem, too, when sex becomes all quantity and limited quality.

“How do you equate a male orgasm in two minutes with the woman being left hanging fry? You can be having all the sex you want, but if your partner is getting little pleasure from it, and feels used, disconnected, flat or empty, then you’re having bad sex. Period.”

If you’re not really sure whether the sex you’re having is bad or not for either you or your partner, all you need to do is ask yourself these questions:

1) Is there a power play going on between the both of you? Does she only agree to get intimate when she wants something done? If sex has become a bargaining chip, then you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

2) Are you both sexually compatible? You may want light S&M every Tuesday while she may only want cuddles. All relationships have different expectations. But if there’s a true divide in sexual desire- you want it daily; she wants it every Christmas- things don’t look pretty well.

3) Have you become the “wife” she never had? Are you cooking, cleaning and putting all your energy into your wine collection? Then it sounds like neither of you are getting laid properly. Men become more sexually assertive when they’re in control, while women may feel more desire for a mate with newfound machismo.

4) Do you avoid each other out of the bedroom, too? When the sex sours, invariably, the rest of the relationship does as well. Boost the romp tally and you’ll improve your relationship.

5) Got a wandering eye? Suddenly taken a fancy to that cute new marketing girl? Don’t panic if it’s nothing more than a platonic crush, but if you really desire to jump her bones, perhaps it’s a sign things aren’t that well between you and your partner.


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